Absence = Fondness?

Whoever said that “absence makes the heat grow fonder,” was obviously making excuses for how they were really feeling. Like a bloody fool.

Maybe in a time when declarations of the heart were taken seriously, and when trust and loyalty were as important to everyone as air… maybe. But, in 21st century America, absence makes us think too much. We’ve been played, lied to, and cheated on so many times that serious love is forever questioned.

When the potential for “the real deal” comes around, will we welcome it with a clear head and an open heart? Or, more likely, will we keep up our walls so high that no one can reach us?

Hopeless Romantics still make grand gestures with the hopes that someone will return them. And as they pour their heart out, more an more the pieces are shattered by those who take advantage without a second thought… until finally the hopeless romantic is simply left hopeless.

We become so embittered that we give up. We’re constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, and when – inevitably it does – we feel justified in our decision to stop hoping. To stop trying. At that point, the other shoe can be something completely small and insignificant. That way we have the opportunity to tuck tail before we can get hurt. This also keeps away the possibility of finding that love that will blow us away and make all of the previous hurts worth it though.

We get comfortable being alone and anything that threatens that comfort is scary and, after so much heartache, not worth it.

Is it something that has changed in society? Something to make us so selfish that we no longer care if we crush the feelings of those who are only guilty of feeling too deeply for us? Trends tend to repeat themselves, so maybe one day the trend of feeling real love will return, and the people of that world will not understand how much pain was experienced by their predecessors. For now though… gird your loins folks. It’s going to a be a long and bumpy road. And as for this poor hopeless romantic, I’ll continue to get my heart broken time and time again because I refuse to give up on the beliefs of true love and soulmates. Until that time, spinsterhood it is for me.

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