I came back here to Thoughts.com because I needed to bleed out a broken and healed up heart. I think I need someone to side with me or validate my angry feelings toward some people in my life. I would appreciate direct comments and questions on my blogs because I am in need of some good comforting and advice. I need someone to tattle to, basically, I am going to tell on some people without revealing their identity. I am going to share dark thoughts that emotional abuse can cause us to have. I need you all. I need a real family, because I lost mine. I need mother figures and new sisters, fathers, brothers, in spirit. I am reaching out. Please walk me through my darkest secret feelings. I am ashamed of some of my feelings, but I need to vent them, because they are real and I want them to go away. Maybe if I pour it all out here, I will be able to put it all in the past. I have been happy for the last year, but I exploded the other day in anger toward my older sister Vonda. She has done some really damaging things to me in my life and it has cause me many emotional problems in my life. I will introduce you to her later in another blog. I am just here fishing for some friends to interact with me. I need compassion and understanding. I need to be loved unconditionally. I need to feel like I have the right to be hurt and have nothing to do with my sister any longer. I need to tell on her, like a child tattling to a parent. I want her to get a spanking. Lol. On a lighter note. It feels good to be incognito again in my writing. I am on Facebook, but I can not write about my sister without making her look bad in public. I am not one who goes around making people look bad in front of their friends and family. So, I need to stop bleeding with anger. This is therapy for me. I need some amateur shrinks. Ok, that is as deep as I am going to get today, because I have dealt with all of this recently, I confronted her in fierce anger. Anger that has been building for twenty years. I will go into detail on my next blog. I am going to call it Sister Dearest. I need new good vibing people in my life. My heart is heavy with sorrow today. It feels like she died to me. I will never seek her out again. I am sorrow today. Sorrow personified. xx

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